


Yearning

by Esbe



Series: The Soldier and The Spy (series) [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, suppressed pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6621829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esbe/pseuds/Esbe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of thwarting the plot to usurp the British throne Mycroft Holmes can openly invite Doctor Watson to his country home and so he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

> Tiny ficlets in the same verse as the Soldier and the Spy. Hoping that this paves the way to actualise my resolve to write some fluff and smut. Not sure if it can be read as a standalone (let me know). but I do think that there is absolutely no need to read tS&tS to understand most of this so long as you get that it's Johncroft.  
> Thanks for reading. Do drop a note with suggestions/detected errors/prompts etc. I love to hear from you all.

It had been another dinner at the Holmes Manor and another evening when he wondered why he had accepted the invitation to the house party.

Ah yes! A gathering of the _squirrels_. He had been told that he was now an honorary one. It had indeed been an honour to be trusted with the identities of the prominent members of the group and introduced to some of their family. But he felt like a rank outsider. Holmes had rudely and firmly refused to join them.

Someone was at the piano, there was laughter and chatter in the background. Across him, at the other end of the room, a familiar auburn head bent charmingly over to listen to a beautiful woman. He looked on as the lady laughed and leaned over, grazing Mycroft’s arm and Doctor Watson could take it no more. He turned away and walked out onto the terrace, thankful for the night’s tranquil darkness. His heart and mind were in turmoil. The yearning ache was physically corporeal now. He stood there clutching the balustrade, struggling to control himself and stared blindly into the darkness. He wasn't sure how long he stood alone in the darkness.

“I felt the same with Sherlock the other day.” The soft voice startled him.

“Mm… Mr. Holmes…” He turned his head sideways. Mycroft came over to stand in a similar pose looking out into the darkness.

“It is a physical hurt now.”

“Wh… what…”

“That day at your rooms. Sherlock clasped your arms and called you a _conductor of illumination_. You laughed together. You looked at him with such fondness.”

Had he? He couldn’t even remember. It was possible that Holmes had paid him the usual compliment and insult all rolled into one and the familiar boyish delight of discovery on his face had reeled Watson in. he turned back to the darkness.

“The two of you were in your own world, I think. I have always mocked and at times enjoyed the ease with which he shows his passion, and, I never thought I would but, in that moment I envied my brother.”

“Mr. Holmes, I assure you that I… we... Holmes and I…”

“I know, Doctor Watson. I know that there is only the deepest friendship between the two of you. I know it because as disinterested in human relationships, as my brother may seem, he needs them and occasionally allows for them. He has never ever shown any interest in his own sex.”

“…”

“I envy him because I can’t even have the simple pleasures of befriending, accompanying, laughing, sharing with and touching you, of being your companion, of earning your praise and reciprocating it, demanding your full attention, not even a few stray rays of your illumination.”

Watson stood unmoving dazed by the revelation.

“And, do tell, knowing my _penchant for meddling_ , to paraphrase my brother, do you really think that if he shared my inclinations I would have _allowed_ you both to share lodgings? I am far too selfish, _my dear_ doctor.”

He wasn’t looking but Watson was sure the sardonic smile was back. He closed his eyes briefly and exhaled softly. Then he opened his eyes and plunged in and prayed that he wasn’t wrong. That he had understood correctly. 

“Quentin told me his full name today. It seems the family name is _Scott_ -Holmes?” He enquired.

“Yes, it is.”

“So you are indeed  _Mr. Scott_.”

“After a fashion, yes.”

“You never lied to me.”

“Not fully.”

He turned around fully then and took a step closer. Mycroft was still pointedly staring ahead. His body so tense that it seemed carved out of wood. The soft moonlight showed pale unmoving features.

“And is it Mr. Holmes here and now or is it _Mr. Scott_?” his voice caught at that name, but he wasn’t ashamed.

“Either of them. Whoever you want.” Only the shadowed lips moved.

“But?”

Mycroft clasped his eyes shut then. Tight. “But, I hope you want both. That you want…”

Without taking his eyes off from that beloved face, Watson reached out to put his hand over Mycroft’s. The knuckles protruded harshly in the clench. “I am glad, because I do need them both. I would not be happy with only the one.”

A shuddering breath escaped Mycroft as he scrunched his eyes and a hoarse plea emanated, “John?”

“It is true. I would happily give you my all for even a tiny sliver of you. I would never demand more. But I would always crave it. I do crave it. All of you.”

The hands on the railings hastily loosened and wrapped around Watson’s hand, clasping it tight. Mycroft slumped forward, eyes opening, still looking straight ahead. “I have been so afraid. I still am.”

Emboldened, Watson went a step further and confessed, “There never was the least necessity. I think I have felt so from our very first encounter.”

A boyish, shy smile appeared then and Mycroft ducked his face further as he whispered, “I was weeks ahead of you.”

It startled a laugh out of Watson and he saw Mycroft give him a quick glance from the corner of his eye. Then he sobered and brought their clasped hands to his lips. It raised goose bumps along the back of Mycroft’s un-gloved hands and his doctor soothed them with his thumb.

Watson had had a few _encounters_ with fellow soldiers in the army. They had usually occurred in the aftermath of battles. In one instance he had even been intimate with a minor _nawab_ in India. He considered that encounter his one true indiscretion. But in all cases they had come together furtively, in the dark, simply to sate a mutual need. This was different. No matter how limited or how deep their association, he wanted his time with Mycroft to see the light of the day at least once.

“We can’t always do this in the dark," he said, startling Mycroft who opened his lips to explain. "Please… let me finish. I meant... I prize your discretion. I do. But just once I want to meet you in light. I want us to see the other in the sun. Please.”

Mycroft understood. He had wished for the same. He seemed to make up his mind and said, “Do you ride?”

“Yes. Though I haven’t since the army.”

“Tomorrow morning, will you ride with me?”

“Of course.”

“At dawn. Just us. Paver will wake you.”

With a final squeeze of his hands Mycroft reluctantly relinquished Watson’s. He then bade him a good night and went back into the house.

**Author's Note:**

> This has a sequel with my bit of effort on smut. Its a bit along in this series itself but if you need instant gratification then jump ahead and read - [ Together!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6929743).
> 
> For those who haven't read tS&tS (these may end up being spoilers if you pan to read that so feel free to skip the next two points of the notes entirely):
> 
> 1) Mycroft meets John before he moves in with Sherlock and at first introduces himself as Mr. Scott to Doctor Watson.  
> 2) In one of the scenes Mycroft witnesses Sherlock holding Watson and pronouncing him 'a conductor of light'.  
> __________
> 
> 22/04/2016: Yes, yes the original fic is still minus its tail and here I am posting this instead! I really feel like a teen who wants to do everything except finish her homework cos thats what she has been told to do :D
> 
> I have written half a scene of their 'ride' together the next morning as well but my inner martinet has told me that I don't get to play anymore till I finish editing at least one more chapter of the main fic. BORING!
> 
> So atleast this is unabashedly romantic which is more than any scene in the tS&tS was. Crossing fingers mentally for the next parts.
> 
> PS: My HUGEST apologies to all johnlockians (i am one too) for having Mycroft say that Sherlock is hetero. Sorry about that but my Mycroft is a jealous possessive type.


End file.
